Romans 12:6-7 Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them accordingly... if it is teaching, then teach.

As the end of my first year of teaching comes to an end, I felt it necessary to share what I have learned. When I was about to start teaching, I searched for advice. Anything I could read, anybody I could talk to, and there were a lot of things I learned that nobody taught me, but the kiddos. 

So here is a letter to the first year teacher, from a first year survivor. 

First: take a deep breath

you may not get a lot of time to take a lot of those. Kidding. Even though it does not feel like you have time to even breath at times, you do. When you start to feel like that, stop right then and take a deep breath.

You will take a lot of deep breaths. Side note, do so loudly so you will be able to tune out the kids asking if you are okay, or why you are breathing so hard. 

Second: be yourself

you have nobody to impress, your a newbie and everybody knows it. If they don't know it yet, they will figure it out fast. That is not a bad thing at all. I used the "I'm a newbie" card a lot. It gives you a little bit more wiggle room to try new things and make mistakes. Definitely takes the pressure off. So be yourself and try those things until somebody tells you it's not a good idea and adjust things as you go. If you don't there will be so much pressure to live up to this unreal person you have created. It is okay to make mistakes around co-workers and the kids. If you teach the kids it's okay to make mistakes they will start to try more too. 

Third: become familiar with what you cannot do

knowing exactly what you cannot do gives you wiggle room. Plus, it is much easier to know what you cannot do instead of what you can do. Learn those things asap. 

Fourth: learn when to ask permission and when to wait and ask forgiveness later

that is very important. If you feel like you have to ask before you do any and every little thing, you will go insane. You will also drive others insane if you are constantly asking "can I...(fill in the blank)?" As long is it is not one of those things that is on the cannot do no matter what list it may fall under one of those categories. 

Fifth: set boundaries

if you do not set boundaries during your first few months, you will definitely not have them throughout the 2nd half of the year when you begin to question why you even became a teacher. Again, kidding. If you ask that question, you won't truly mean it but that honeymoon period will be over quick and all your kids are now being themselves. Fully. All day. Every day. Learn what time is a good idea to leave school each day, and how late of an exception you will make for those busier days. Do NOT check email outside of school except for special circumstances. You will set up the unreal expectation that you can and will respond to a parent at 9:00 pm if necessary. Decide what type of work you will bring home and what you will not. I did not bring any work home and everything that needed to be done got done. There is no rule anywhere that says you must work at home or on the weekends. Don't do it. Teaching is your job not who you are. Do not lose your identity to your work. Pick 3 things and do them WELL. Do not overwhelm yourself. You are a new teacher, you are not hot of the press teacher of the year. You cannot do it all. If you try to manage teaching and be everywhere all the time, you will never get anything else done. Added bonus, boundaries or not, you will never have time to pee, so start learning to hold it now. 

Sixth: remember that every day is a new day

yesterday is not today and today is not tomorrow. Remember that. Do not carry anything from yesterday into your today. If you do that, those kids will never stand a chance. Even if that same kid drives you nuts every day in the same ways, let him have a new chance every day. PS: throw out that "I will love all my kids the same. I will not have favorites" idea because you will not not have favorites or enjoy all the kids equally. People are different, and there are different personalities. You will not like them all but you can give them a new chance every day. 

Seventh: take time to learn all of your students

whether you have 25 or 125, take time to learn them all. It will pay off in the long run. They will know you care and you will learn how to discipline, teach, and reward each of them. And trust me, without that you have nothing. If you don't learn the kids you cannot build relationships with them. The most important thing is to build relationships with the kids not how much they learn. 

Eighth: know now that you will not have 185 instructional days and THAT'S OK

Some days you will learn absolutely nothing and you will watch the Magic School bus and play silent ball. Some days you will color, go outside dig in the dirt, and cut and paste. Do not take those opportunities for granted. Those are some of the best teacher days. Yes you have data to meet, and EOG scores to raise, but if you don't take those days off and enjoy those slow days your kids won't learn from you. They will check out quick fast and in a hurry. Take time to let the kids have fun. They can learn in fun ways. Do not beat yourself up for the days you get nothing academic accomplished. 

Ninth: kids love rewards and "I like" has more power than "I don't like"

Rewards are better than discipline. Telling kids you like something they have done is way better than fussing at a kid because you don't like what they are doing. Whatever grade you teach, they deep down secretly want to please you. "I really like" will take you MUCH further than "I really don't like" plus it will make you a more positive person. Reward what you like, ignore what you don't, they will catch on pretty quick. 

Tenth: set your standards HIGH and BE TOUGH

I don't care if you are the most laid back person ever, when you have 25 different sweet little children in your room, if you don't set some standards quick you will have chaos. It is OK to tell kids NO, you may not get up without permission in this room and NO you may not go to the bathroom. It is easier to say NO first and then later say yes. If you start saying yes a lot at first you will be walked all over. If you are not tough with the kids at first you will be walked all over. You might as well slap a welcome sign to you because congratulations, you are a door mat. You can love the kids and have fun but still be tough. There is a difference between being strict and being mean. Your classroom may be the only structure they see in their life. You may be the only one that sets rules and standards for them. They may not like you for it but later in life they will understand. You are helping develop their character. Remember that, they don't need a friend they need a mentor. 

I feel it is safe to stop at 10. 

What I would have changed about my first year is being spread too thin. Some days I was to tired and the kids caught it. Be prepared for the kids to ask if you are tired, or if you are in a bad mood. They will ask and it is frustrating. Law is it frustrating, but just take it as a compliment that they are comfortable enough to ask. You can reteach anything but you cannot recreate an environment. 

If you take nothing from my letter remember this ONE key thing. Take time to pray over your room and for your kiddos. Take time to pray before you discipline. What makes a good teacher is not how well she teaches, but her walk with The Lord. Pray pray pray. Seek The Lord's guidance in all you do. I could not have made it through this first year without Him. 

With 14 days left until summer vacation, I cannot help but to reflect. I have loved my first year and I have loved my kiddos. I have loved the days that crashed and burned. I have loved the days we painted, colored, played with food, and watched the Magic School Bus or Bill Nye. I have loved being deemed the "bully teacher" and earning that title (ps, be okay with the kids joking with you. let them know when it is appropriate and when it isn't, and no two kids will joke the same that's why you have to learn them all) because I had fun and the kids had fun. I have loved the crazy pictures the kids draw of me on the board, and the forced teacher appreciation letters. I have loved the cute awards, letters, and pictures the kids created for me. I have loved being called a witch and a dragon, having my hair, shoes, and outfits critiqued by preteens because that means they are comfortable enough to share their opinions, and at times way too comfortable. 

What I am trying to say is enjoy it. Soak in every moment. Let nothing steal your joy. Who you are on day one is not who you will be on day 185, I promise. Start praying, taking deep breaths, and learning how to hold your pee now. You will not regret it.

You will have a great year, you will be great, and it is okay to make mistakes. 

Sincerely,

a first year survivor teacher of tweens. 

Since we have such a hope, we are very bold, (2 Corinthians 3:12 ESV)

After a season of go nonstop, being home only enough time to sleep, and eating whatever is close by if you even remember to eat, I am taking a day to rest all while counting the days until summer arrives.

New job, new opportunities, and new experiences can all come at once and become so blurred together.

and I know you can relate. I know you've been there. You get to a point where you have a moment if peace to take a breath and you just wonder, where did I say yes too many times? Where did I lose the step of taking care of myself? What did I get wrong? 

I'll say it again I know I'm not alone in this. I'm not afraid to admit I get to that point too at times. I'm actually there in this very moment. 

In this very moment though, I have figured out the where, what, when, and why..

In the midst of the chaos I lost my boldness. I lost my boldness because I lost my hope. My vision turned from hope and faith to perfection, performance, and comparison. Which none of those three things bring about any boldness. They bring about jealousy, bitterness, dispair, and the drive to perform better. 

The answer is hope. I need hope. We need hope. 

Hope God will provide

Hope God is who He says He is

Hope God has a plan and it is good

Hope God has not forgotten me

Hope God's plan will stand no matter what I want

Hope God's approval is better than any man or woman's

Hope even if you cannot feel God moving that He is.

That's the hope that Hebrews says is an anchor for the soul. 

With hope come boldness. With hope we have an anchor to hold onto in a world that is ready to toss you around like rough, never ending waves. 

I pray this is some enlightenment and relief to you as it has been to me. 

Have faith. Have hope. Be bold in Christ. 

-B

Acts 3:19 Repent ye therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out, that so there may come seasons of refreshing from the presence of the Lord;

On this Good Friday, 

reflecting and recovering from a long week of missions with some great students
a great day of good fellowship

with the rain pouring down outside

I feel the pull to write.

Last post I wrote I appropriately used the reference of "what's under your bed" and today listening to a song my Lady Antebellum (because yes, there is a time and place for some country music) a picture was another "bed" analogy that developed in my mind. In the song "Your Side of the Bed," the song shares the story of a couple who have grown apart. In the beginning of the song you can almost see the picture of the woman lying there, with a hurting broken heart, peering over to see husband with his back turned to her. Shut off and disconnected. She wants to know why and how. When did it happen, and why does he not reach out, and why are they so far away while they are so close. 

Just as clear as I saw that picture, I felt my soul whisper "don't you get it. That is a perfect picture of how your relationship with Me can become disconnected and distant. That is me with the hurting broken heart, peering over to see you turning your back to me." 

Being a woman who has walked through rejection, hurt, and having a back turned on me, that is a broken feeling I can so easily relate to. When I thought it, it felt so real. I felt that heavy, burdened, broken heart. I knew that hurt, and I know I am not alone.

Often we hear what sin can do to our relationship with God, but at times it can still be so hard to fathom. But to connect it in such a way that relates to a feeling that is familiar, makes it all the more real. 

Let me paint this picture for you. Let me give you a good representation of sin does in our lives and to our relationship with Our Heavenly Father.

That broken woman with a heart for a man that has turned his back on her. Or the girl that has a heart for a guy that has chosen another woman over her. The man whose wife has walked out on him because the grass seems to be greener on the other side of the fence. 

I say I'm not alone in knowing that feeling because I know I'm not. I know in some form many of you have been in that same position. 

Think about that feeling. 

How awful it is to have something chosen over you. For somebody to say you aren't good enough for me anymore, this was good for a while but you just aren't doing it for me anymore. 

Now try to imagine that feeling multiplied immensely. How crushing.

That, my friend, is how the Father feels when you make decisions to choose things over Him. 

that drink.

that party.

that guy.

that girl.

that compromise you promised yourself you would never make again.

that temptation you can't resist.

that website with those pictures.

When you chose that over God, you turn your back on Him. You tell Him that He isn't enough. You are telling Him that familiar phrase you wish you had never heard "I just don't want to do this anymore, you don't make me happy anymore." 

Sometimes we can't quite grasp the picture of how bad our choices and how bad our sin truly hurts our Heavenly Father, but I know for me that picture, that thought, that feeling, makes it a little more clear. 

What have you chosen over The Father? 
What might be causing Him to be thinking and asking you, how did you get so far from Me? Are you not lonely? Do you not see that I am right here, waiting on you to turn back to me? All you have to do is turn back to me, I am right here waiting. 

Or are you going to continue to lie there, with your back turned, on your side of the bed? 

I pray this reaches you, and it stirs up a time of reflection. I pray you can make some connection with this and it is as eye opening for you as it was me.

17 “And now, brothers, I know that you acted in ignorance, as did also your rulers. 18 But what God foretold by the mouth of all the prophets, that his Christ would suffer, he thus fulfilled. 19 Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out, 20 that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord, and that he may send the Christ appointed for you, Jesus, 21 whom heaven must receive until the time for restoring all the things about which God spoke by the mouth of his holy prophets long ago.

Acts 3:17-21

-B

Revelation 21:5 And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

A few weeks ago I was on the hunt for a new mattress. Little did I know how that one ordinary event would reveal some "character development" in my life. 

I have had the SAME bed since high school. Same frame, same mattress, same mattress topper; and it was time for change.

The bed frame was bulky, the mattress was lumpy, but all I want to change was the mattress. So against my Daddy's desires, one Saturday morning we set out to find me a new mattress. The reason daddy wasn't on board was because I had a very nice mattress sitting in my storage unit. Only problem there was, I would have to change bed frames... And that meant cleaning under the bed. 

I don't know about you, but I feel like that is the worst place to have to clean, and I was just not having it. I just wanted a new mattress that would cover up the mess underneath. Nothing to he seen, nothing to declutter. 

Long story short, we went, we shopped, we found nothing. Not one I liked (or could afford rather). So here it was, time to move beds. Time to clean under the bed. 

I absolutely hate to clean. With every fiber in my being I cannot stand it. Now however, I did not have a choice. So as the old bed was being moved out, it was all revealed. Everything that had been ignored, tucked away hidden, and forgotten about. I hadn't been the only one to stud things under this bed, and I had no clue where to even begin decluttering. 

So right then I started to pray, "Lord, what are you trying to teach me through this. Why is this happening."

And clear as day He revealed to me that I was in need of some serious character development, He revealed to me that I am most definitely an avoider. I have feelings, thoughts, emotions, and situations that I have avoided. Out of sight out of mind has been my mentality, when it was ALL still sitting there waiting for me.

Every random old and new thing under that bed symbolized things in my life that needed to be dealt with. There were things I needed to declutter in my heart, mind, and life. 

It was like God was saying, "it's time to declutter. Ignoring things doesn't make them go away. The sooner they are dealt with the better of you will be. It's time to declutter your heart. Not a time to be sad, mad, or anxious but rather be glad because new is coming, healing is on its way." 

It was time to trade my ashes I'm for beauty like Isaiah 61:1-3 talk about. 

It was time to trust and not be afraid (Isaiah 12:2) because if that ordinary bed situation was just a glimpse of how things could be in my heart, it is so worth it to tackle what's under the bed. Once the old bed was out the new bed was better than anything I could have imagined. 

The old turned to new, and it was better than I imagined. 

So what's under your bed? What are some things you've tucked under your bed that need to be decluttered? What are some things you've been ignoring, just sitting, waiting, wishing they would go away? Ask God to reveal to you those areas, and be prepared, willing, and ready to declutter your heart. 

Behold, He is ready to make those things new. 

-B 

Isaiah 61:1&3 "He has sent me to bind up and heal the brokenhearted...to give them an ornament of beauty instead of ashes."

Happy Friday, blog readers.

It is very... off color... for me to write on a Friday evening. But hey, that's okay. When I feel prompted, I write.

Tonight with a not so light heart after a not so joyful week, I have been hit with a slight conviction.

I have come to a self righteous place in my life. A place where I have come to think I have laid all my burdens at the cross. That I have traded all my ashes in for beauty. That I am not hiding anything, nor am I still trying to hold onto anything. 

Thing is, I realized I was still covered in a lot of ash. Ash that has been covered up for a long time. Covered with new steps. New chapters. New things that have concealed it, only to have it wear off and still be there. Waiting on me. 

Throughout this week the lyrics from "At the foot of the cross" have been playing on repeat in my mind

I trade these ashes in for beauty. I wear forgiveness like a crown. Coming to kiss the feet of mercy. I lay every burden down.

Could not figure out why. Had not heard the song recently, but tonight, it makes sense. 

Scrolling through old pictures, playing the Facebook catch up game and such; and here came the thought "I think I have some buried burdens and hurt." Instantly I felt the Lord say "Bingo!"

I have past hurt from past relationships of all sorts. 
Betrayals. Lies. Bad choices. Pain. Hurt. Anger. Abandonment. 

Open wounds in my heart that I had never taken the time to work through. So much so that the reason I probably stay so busy is so I don't have to sit still. When I sit still those wounds start to seep open again.

For years upon years I have stayed busy to avoid them. To almost in a sense run from them. What has really happened is I have allowed them to grow. Almost laying dormant, gathering more and more and more waiting to explode. Instead of taking time to walk through the healing process, I have totally avoided it. 

Tonight, it's like God is saying "now trade those ashes in for beauty. Lay those burdens down at the foot of the cross, and be healed. Lets walk through those buried places, and let Me heal them. They have been waiting. I have been waiting. " 

I know that I am not the only one walking through a situation like this. The only one who has come to realize that desire to buy new clothes will never cover it. That the new job will never make it go away. That the newest hair style and make up will never make you feel healed. That even getting busy for the Lord will not help it go away.

I know that this may hit a special place in your heart tonight as you read this. I pray that it does, but not in a painful way. I pray that it reaches you in a peaceful way. A healing way. 

It's time for us to walk through old wounds. new wounds. buried burdens and hurt. and be healed.

I have not the slightest idea how God is going to work through those places in my heart (or yours) that need healing, but I know it will be good, and it is long overdue. 

Now, as I trade my ashes in for beauty, I pray that you do the same.


Happy healing.


Isaiah 61:1-3 

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed and qualified me to preach the Gospel of good tidings to the meek, the poor, and afflicted; He has sent me to bind up and heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the [physical and spiritual] captives and the opening of the prison and of the eyes to those who are bound,

To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord [the year of His favor] [a]and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,

To grant [consolation and joy] to those who mourn in Zion—to give them an ornament (a garland or diadem) of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment [expressive] of praise instead of a heavy, burdened, and failing spirit—that they may be called oaks of righteousness [lofty, strong, and magnificent, distinguished for uprightness, justice, and right standing with God], the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.


-B