Deuteronomy 31:6b "He will never leave you nor forsake you.”

The perfect song for this blog & one of my all time favorites. One I would suggest REALLY listening to the lyrics. (AND I got to see this song performed live & loved it! and sorry for the ads)


It has been a few weeks since I've written anything.. 20 days exactly I'm pretty sure...

A lot of us struggle with a thing called pride. 
I love to write, but about good things. It is a lot harder to write about the bad things & the struggles and when I am lost, and low, and confused, and broken. 
I'm going to do it though.

I have come a long way, and am proud of who God is creating me to be.
I am not the same person I was two months ago.
I am not the same person I was two weeks ago.
I am not the same person I was two days ago.
I am not the same person I was two hours ago.

Life is ever changing, and God is always working in our lives.

I came to the realization today that sometimes I just suck.
yeah I said it, I suck.
there really isn't a better word for it. 
I could list all the times I've messed up, wronged somebody, or just stumbled.. but it's just easier to say I suck. 

I carry so much on my plate that I neglect relationships. 
I know I am not always the best friend, sister, daughter, student, daughter of Christ... & I know I can't fix that but I can move past it, ask for forgiveness and start fresh.


Even when I feel like I suck the most or I have royally screwed it up, those that love us forgive us. 
God forgives us. He loves us no matter how much we have screwed up. No matter how many times we have wronged Him, He always loves us anyways. Just as the song says. 
Now don't get me wrong, that doesn't give you permission to use and abuse God or any others in your life because if they love us it will be okay, if God loves us no matter what it will be okay. It won't.

Sometimes I feel so broken, lost, confused, hurt, emotional.. and a kabillion and fifteen other things... 
It's okay to be weak. That I believe is God's way of showing me that we need Him. That I need Him. 

We are human, therefore we are not perfect. That means we will struggle, screw up and just flat out suck at times. It's okay to admit it. I just did, multiple times.

I've been struggling a lot lately with letting God take control and lead me and trust in Him. That isn't fair to Him. I am not being the best daughter of the King when I do that. It happens though. I feel bad after. Just as bad as I feel for not being the best friend I can be, the best sister, or the best daughter. 

It's just time that I really focus on those relationships too and not neglect them. I carry so much on my plate but that is no excuse to be neglectful. 
It's time for me to put my big girl pants on & make things right & better from here on.



"To worry is to doubt God."

I trust that God uses these times to open my eyes. To help me grow. To make me and mold me into who He has created me to be. 

Today has been one of the craziest and one of the best days. 
Thankful for what God is doing in my life. 
Thankful that He loves us no matter what, even when we don't love ourselves or times in our life. Even when we try to turn from Him or take things into our own hands... He loves us anyway. He loves me anyway.

I know what my problems are and it's time to fix them. 
I ask for those of you that read this blog (this very scattered rambling post) to pray for me. After you read this, when you think about me, anytime.
Pray for me.


No more sucking.
No more doubting God.

"let the past make you better, not bitter." 

goodnight y'all.
-B

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

(since I am about to begin another year of life, my new year, I feel like this song is super fitting for this post)

This is my first September post. It's the 3rd, which means tomorrow is my birthday. I will be 21 tomorrow. So today is my birthday eve (yes I acknowledge my birthday eve.. if you don't, you are missing out.)

Usually on my birthday eve I do some reflecting. Just looking past over the last year.. I like to look at changes.. see how far I have come... see what events have happened.. see who has walked into my life and who has walked out.

I am pretty content with this past year. I have come a long way and am not what I used to be. I am happy with who I am and who I am becoming.

I have learned that it is so important to foster who you are. No two people were created the same so it seems completely insane to compare two unalike products. We may be similar but we are totally different. Each one of us was hand crafted for a special purpose and to be a special child of God. Too often we get caught up in trying to be like others, and we compare ourselves to those all around us when really we need to take a step back and realize that it is okay to be who we are. We need to foster who we are. I am learning that more and more. I love who I am. I know I am not the cookie cutter 21 year old college girl and I am beyond okay with that. I use to not be. I felt like I had to have everybody's approval and I DON'T. We only have to answer to God. We only have to do our works for Him. We only have to seek HIS approval and no one else's. We get so caught up in the flesh and the worldly things that we forget that. We forget that God made us who we are for a reason. There will always be people who have something to say about you and there will always be people who will try to change you. There will be people who don't like what you do or how you act because it isn't the same way they do things or you view things differently. But you know what that's ok! We don't have to have their approval.

God & Myself.
That's who I do stuff for.

If I want to wear camo shoes, pearls, a pink shirt, and pull my hair back.. I can. (even though we all know I don't wear pearls or pink.. I'm saying if I want to do it, I can and I will.)

I wear make up. Sometimes I wear jewelry. I drive a truck. I have a system in my truck. I love camo stuff. My favorite color is camo. I own high heels. I own Chippewas. I have 5 pairs of cowboy boots. I have 3 pairs of high heeled boots. I have dresses. I have overalls. I have a gun. I have a hunting game. I love football. I watch Gunsmoke. Some days I like to take time to get ready. Some days I get ready in 10 minutes. I listen to Christian music of the contemporary, rap, rock, and pop variety. I like rap, country, and pop music. I love to fish. I love to go shopping. I am unorganized. I love anything science, bugs, clouds, experiments. I love Jesus, and am not afraid to let you know where I stand. I am loud. I like to goof off. I like to make things and be crafty. I like doing hair and make-up for others. I don't like being a student. I can't wait to be a teacher. I love working with kids. I am not the most patient person. Sometimes I can get a temper. Sometimes I have an attitude. I usually say what is on my mind. I have trouble saying no. I like to help others any way I can. I am a procrastinator. I love to sleep. I love my family. I love to worship.

If I keep thinking, I could make that list even longer than it is. Those things make me who I am. People aren't always going to like all those qualities, or all those things.. but like I said who cares? I am who I am and I am proud of it. As this year comes to a close for me and I begin a new one tomorrow, I am going to always foster who I am. I will be proud if who God has created me to be. I don't work, serve, or answer to anybody but my Heavenly Father. & I pray for this next year that He gives me the strength and the courage and the confidence to stand up for who I am, be proud of who I am, and not give into the worldly views.

in the midst of all the madness, all we need is God. He is enough.
I am thankful that I am given another day. I am thankful I am making it to another birthday. I am thankful God never stops working through me and using me. I am thankful God is enough.

Let His will be done. Not that of my own. 
& all that starts will fostering who He has created me to be, and how He has made me.

& on a cool note. I am going to start reading the plan where you read the Bible in a year. I am excited to do that study along with the others I have going on.

Thankful for God's grace
Thankful for God's blessings
Thankful God teaches me things every day and I am continually growing in my walk with Him.
Thankful for all the people God has put in my life over this past year & ready to see where He leads me from here.


Let His will be done.


-B

1 Chronicles 23:30 stand every morning to thank and praise the Lord, and likewise at evening

Happy last day of August & Happy Friday!

I never have intentions to write. I never wake up saying "hmm, lets post a blog" or anything along those lines. I usually think of something to write about how God works in my life, and I think "hey I'm going to put this in my Facebook.... nope, it'll end up being too long. Guess I'll blog it out right before I need to be walking out the door."

& that my friends is how that cookie crumbles.

Okay, so doing my usually morning routine (Coffee, Facebook, Pinterest, Social Media, Social Media, Social Media, whichever and whatever they may be. Sometimes they vary each morning and the order does as well. Coffee is always there though.) I came across something on Facebook that just made me a little bit confused. Confused is good though sometimes. Sometimes we aren't supposed to know everything. That's how God keeps us on our toes. He is not boring by any means and He looooves to change the rules up mid game. I would know. He plays the switcharoo on me a lot.

 But anyways, sometimes we get so caught up in what we want, we forget about what is best for us. We also get so caught up in what we want that it becomes such a distraction from God. It becomes an idol. We turn our backs on God and focus on that "want". I don't call it a need, because if indeed it were a need, it would be given to us from God and we would never take our eyes off Him. God will cut you off mid path and slam a door right in your face if He sees something is distracting you from Him, or you are going a way He doesn't see fit. 

I am so thankful to have a Heavenly Father who only wants what is best for me, and for you too of course. I am thankful He closes those doors, changes rules mid game, and cuts me off mid path. I want to be focused solely on Him. Let any distractions in my life be gone. I will turn my back on the worldly things to keep my eyes focused on God. 

Just keep this in mind...
Things aren't going to always go how we planned. You know why? God doesn't like for us to try and plan things. Don't try to take His job, y'all. It isn't our place. There are a reason those things you wanted you didn't get.. there is a reason why those things were wants and not needs... doors get closed so better ones can be opened. Trust God knows what is best. Trust God has the best plans in store for you. Just be patient. 

I am thankful God is leading me. I am thankful I will follow no matter what. I am thankful for all those who pray for me. I am thankful for all those God lets me reach through my writings.

If God is trying to close a door in your life, don't stick your foot in the door.. don't try to wedge the door back open... don't try to keep Him from closing it. Let go and let God. He knows what He is doing, so let Him do His thing!

 

-B

Jeremiah 10:23 I know, LORD, that our lives are not our own. We are notable to plan our own course.

Good morning, y'all!

First off, I wish all of you teachers and students luck on your first day of the 2012-2013 school year! In this grey, clouded world it is hard to be a light but the cool thing is that we have a never ending flame burning inside of us all. So keep that in mind today, tomorrow, and for days to come.
What's even cooler, is I know that our Church is full of students and teachers who are prepared to go into those schools beaming.

I love my Church.
Holy smokes. God has been doing some great things in that place. For those of you who don't know, I attend Living Water Baptist in Hendersonville. And it is AWESOME. (and yes, I still go to App and live in Boone during the week. And yes I drive home every weekend I can to be home and go to my home Church.)

I started going to LW when I was a senior in high school, and now I'm a senior in college. There is truly no othe place I would rather hear from God, worship God, & talk to God. So thankful for Caleb, for getting me started in that Church. Thankful for Sabrina L for first reaching her hand out to me during my dark times & helping guide me. Thankful for Pastor Tony and David for being so awesome. Thankful for Tony, David, Sabrina and my Church family for supporting me in so many ways.

Yesterday was such an amazing day. The regular service was fantastic. And the night worship... I don't even have words to explain how awesome it was. I watched God move in so many ways in so many lives.
I personally was broken last night. I know God is calling me to do big things and He is preparing me.. and I see it. I am so beyond excited to see what happens.

It's time to clear away all things that my stand in the way of God. It's time to turn my back to the worldly things and keep my eyes on God. It's time to let God lead.

If you haven't ever been to Living Water, or you've been once or twice.. If you don't have a Church you're plugged into, or looking for a Church to call yours.. I urge you to give Living Water a chance.

God is awesome. Living Water is awesome. Words can't describe how I feel right now. This is something I've never experienced before but I am so ready for God to lead me and show me what's next. I'm already ready for Sunday.

New small group, which is awesome. Service which is awesome. And a Church family which is awesome.

Thankful for it all.

And on a side note, it's almost my birthday! A week from tomorrow (Tuesday) yay!!

-B

Psalms 42:8 But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me.

(one of my favorite songs. goes well with this blog.. I think. That or I just really like this song)

Good morning all! 

I survived my first day of my senior year of college, currently I am in my second day. So yes, I am writing this during my 8 am... oops, sorry Dr. H..  for all of you that read this blog, you know when I feel the urge to write that I will write.. soooo here goes!

"A beautiful day begins with a beautiful mindset. When you wake up take a second to think about how much of a privilege it is to simply be alive and healthy. The moment that you start acting like life is a blessing, I assure you it will start feeling like one. Time spent living is time worth appreciating."

Those words there came from a facebook status in me news feed this morning. How true are those words? How powerful are those words? I feel like sometimes people say things and the words speak to us, and they are truly words from God. I am usually pretty positive, but sometimes I drag my feet... sometimes, I can be so negative that it's not even funny. That's really not how I should be. That shouldn't be my mindset... 

The past few weeks, actually the past few months, have taught me so much about being thankful for my life. My life is a blessing. Each day is a gift. By God's grace, I have been given my life and by my faith I trust Him with it. I have weathered a few storms in my life, and it still rains on occasion in Brooke-town.. But just as every sunny day  is a blessing.. every rain storm is a blessing.

Sometimes I catch myself waiting for things to be over, and counting down days.. and right now I am feeling that big time since this is my last semester of actual classes so Tate's words came just in time. I need to realize that every day is a blessing and it's all about the mindset. I can make the best of this time or make the worst of it. I think I'll choose to make the best of this situation and enjoy my days and my times and my experiences that come with the situation I am in now. 

Every day is a blessing and God has me where He does for a reason.

Thankful for Tate's words.
Thankful for such an almighty God.


-B