Since we have such a hope, we are very bold, (2 Corinthians 3:12 ESV)

After a season of go nonstop, being home only enough time to sleep, and eating whatever is close by if you even remember to eat, I am taking a day to rest all while counting the days until summer arrives.

New job, new opportunities, and new experiences can all come at once and become so blurred together.

and I know you can relate. I know you've been there. You get to a point where you have a moment if peace to take a breath and you just wonder, where did I say yes too many times? Where did I lose the step of taking care of myself? What did I get wrong? 

I'll say it again I know I'm not alone in this. I'm not afraid to admit I get to that point too at times. I'm actually there in this very moment. 

In this very moment though, I have figured out the where, what, when, and why..

In the midst of the chaos I lost my boldness. I lost my boldness because I lost my hope. My vision turned from hope and faith to perfection, performance, and comparison. Which none of those three things bring about any boldness. They bring about jealousy, bitterness, dispair, and the drive to perform better. 

The answer is hope. I need hope. We need hope. 

Hope God will provide

Hope God is who He says He is

Hope God has a plan and it is good

Hope God has not forgotten me

Hope God's plan will stand no matter what I want

Hope God's approval is better than any man or woman's

Hope even if you cannot feel God moving that He is.

That's the hope that Hebrews says is an anchor for the soul. 

With hope come boldness. With hope we have an anchor to hold onto in a world that is ready to toss you around like rough, never ending waves. 

I pray this is some enlightenment and relief to you as it has been to me. 

Have faith. Have hope. Be bold in Christ. 

-B

Acts 3:19 Repent ye therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out, that so there may come seasons of refreshing from the presence of the Lord;

On this Good Friday, 

reflecting and recovering from a long week of missions with some great students
a great day of good fellowship

with the rain pouring down outside

I feel the pull to write.

Last post I wrote I appropriately used the reference of "what's under your bed" and today listening to a song my Lady Antebellum (because yes, there is a time and place for some country music) a picture was another "bed" analogy that developed in my mind. In the song "Your Side of the Bed," the song shares the story of a couple who have grown apart. In the beginning of the song you can almost see the picture of the woman lying there, with a hurting broken heart, peering over to see husband with his back turned to her. Shut off and disconnected. She wants to know why and how. When did it happen, and why does he not reach out, and why are they so far away while they are so close. 

Just as clear as I saw that picture, I felt my soul whisper "don't you get it. That is a perfect picture of how your relationship with Me can become disconnected and distant. That is me with the hurting broken heart, peering over to see you turning your back to me." 

Being a woman who has walked through rejection, hurt, and having a back turned on me, that is a broken feeling I can so easily relate to. When I thought it, it felt so real. I felt that heavy, burdened, broken heart. I knew that hurt, and I know I am not alone.

Often we hear what sin can do to our relationship with God, but at times it can still be so hard to fathom. But to connect it in such a way that relates to a feeling that is familiar, makes it all the more real. 

Let me paint this picture for you. Let me give you a good representation of sin does in our lives and to our relationship with Our Heavenly Father.

That broken woman with a heart for a man that has turned his back on her. Or the girl that has a heart for a guy that has chosen another woman over her. The man whose wife has walked out on him because the grass seems to be greener on the other side of the fence. 

I say I'm not alone in knowing that feeling because I know I'm not. I know in some form many of you have been in that same position. 

Think about that feeling. 

How awful it is to have something chosen over you. For somebody to say you aren't good enough for me anymore, this was good for a while but you just aren't doing it for me anymore. 

Now try to imagine that feeling multiplied immensely. How crushing.

That, my friend, is how the Father feels when you make decisions to choose things over Him. 

that drink.

that party.

that guy.

that girl.

that compromise you promised yourself you would never make again.

that temptation you can't resist.

that website with those pictures.

When you chose that over God, you turn your back on Him. You tell Him that He isn't enough. You are telling Him that familiar phrase you wish you had never heard "I just don't want to do this anymore, you don't make me happy anymore." 

Sometimes we can't quite grasp the picture of how bad our choices and how bad our sin truly hurts our Heavenly Father, but I know for me that picture, that thought, that feeling, makes it a little more clear. 

What have you chosen over The Father? 
What might be causing Him to be thinking and asking you, how did you get so far from Me? Are you not lonely? Do you not see that I am right here, waiting on you to turn back to me? All you have to do is turn back to me, I am right here waiting. 

Or are you going to continue to lie there, with your back turned, on your side of the bed? 

I pray this reaches you, and it stirs up a time of reflection. I pray you can make some connection with this and it is as eye opening for you as it was me.

17 “And now, brothers, I know that you acted in ignorance, as did also your rulers. 18 But what God foretold by the mouth of all the prophets, that his Christ would suffer, he thus fulfilled. 19 Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out, 20 that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord, and that he may send the Christ appointed for you, Jesus, 21 whom heaven must receive until the time for restoring all the things about which God spoke by the mouth of his holy prophets long ago.

Acts 3:17-21

-B

Revelation 21:5 And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

A few weeks ago I was on the hunt for a new mattress. Little did I know how that one ordinary event would reveal some "character development" in my life. 

I have had the SAME bed since high school. Same frame, same mattress, same mattress topper; and it was time for change.

The bed frame was bulky, the mattress was lumpy, but all I want to change was the mattress. So against my Daddy's desires, one Saturday morning we set out to find me a new mattress. The reason daddy wasn't on board was because I had a very nice mattress sitting in my storage unit. Only problem there was, I would have to change bed frames... And that meant cleaning under the bed. 

I don't know about you, but I feel like that is the worst place to have to clean, and I was just not having it. I just wanted a new mattress that would cover up the mess underneath. Nothing to he seen, nothing to declutter. 

Long story short, we went, we shopped, we found nothing. Not one I liked (or could afford rather). So here it was, time to move beds. Time to clean under the bed. 

I absolutely hate to clean. With every fiber in my being I cannot stand it. Now however, I did not have a choice. So as the old bed was being moved out, it was all revealed. Everything that had been ignored, tucked away hidden, and forgotten about. I hadn't been the only one to stud things under this bed, and I had no clue where to even begin decluttering. 

So right then I started to pray, "Lord, what are you trying to teach me through this. Why is this happening."

And clear as day He revealed to me that I was in need of some serious character development, He revealed to me that I am most definitely an avoider. I have feelings, thoughts, emotions, and situations that I have avoided. Out of sight out of mind has been my mentality, when it was ALL still sitting there waiting for me.

Every random old and new thing under that bed symbolized things in my life that needed to be dealt with. There were things I needed to declutter in my heart, mind, and life. 

It was like God was saying, "it's time to declutter. Ignoring things doesn't make them go away. The sooner they are dealt with the better of you will be. It's time to declutter your heart. Not a time to be sad, mad, or anxious but rather be glad because new is coming, healing is on its way." 

It was time to trade my ashes I'm for beauty like Isaiah 61:1-3 talk about. 

It was time to trust and not be afraid (Isaiah 12:2) because if that ordinary bed situation was just a glimpse of how things could be in my heart, it is so worth it to tackle what's under the bed. Once the old bed was out the new bed was better than anything I could have imagined. 

The old turned to new, and it was better than I imagined. 

So what's under your bed? What are some things you've tucked under your bed that need to be decluttered? What are some things you've been ignoring, just sitting, waiting, wishing they would go away? Ask God to reveal to you those areas, and be prepared, willing, and ready to declutter your heart. 

Behold, He is ready to make those things new. 

-B 

Isaiah 61:1&3 "He has sent me to bind up and heal the brokenhearted...to give them an ornament of beauty instead of ashes."

Happy Friday, blog readers.

It is very... off color... for me to write on a Friday evening. But hey, that's okay. When I feel prompted, I write.

Tonight with a not so light heart after a not so joyful week, I have been hit with a slight conviction.

I have come to a self righteous place in my life. A place where I have come to think I have laid all my burdens at the cross. That I have traded all my ashes in for beauty. That I am not hiding anything, nor am I still trying to hold onto anything. 

Thing is, I realized I was still covered in a lot of ash. Ash that has been covered up for a long time. Covered with new steps. New chapters. New things that have concealed it, only to have it wear off and still be there. Waiting on me. 

Throughout this week the lyrics from "At the foot of the cross" have been playing on repeat in my mind

I trade these ashes in for beauty. I wear forgiveness like a crown. Coming to kiss the feet of mercy. I lay every burden down.

Could not figure out why. Had not heard the song recently, but tonight, it makes sense. 

Scrolling through old pictures, playing the Facebook catch up game and such; and here came the thought "I think I have some buried burdens and hurt." Instantly I felt the Lord say "Bingo!"

I have past hurt from past relationships of all sorts. 
Betrayals. Lies. Bad choices. Pain. Hurt. Anger. Abandonment. 

Open wounds in my heart that I had never taken the time to work through. So much so that the reason I probably stay so busy is so I don't have to sit still. When I sit still those wounds start to seep open again.

For years upon years I have stayed busy to avoid them. To almost in a sense run from them. What has really happened is I have allowed them to grow. Almost laying dormant, gathering more and more and more waiting to explode. Instead of taking time to walk through the healing process, I have totally avoided it. 

Tonight, it's like God is saying "now trade those ashes in for beauty. Lay those burdens down at the foot of the cross, and be healed. Lets walk through those buried places, and let Me heal them. They have been waiting. I have been waiting. " 

I know that I am not the only one walking through a situation like this. The only one who has come to realize that desire to buy new clothes will never cover it. That the new job will never make it go away. That the newest hair style and make up will never make you feel healed. That even getting busy for the Lord will not help it go away.

I know that this may hit a special place in your heart tonight as you read this. I pray that it does, but not in a painful way. I pray that it reaches you in a peaceful way. A healing way. 

It's time for us to walk through old wounds. new wounds. buried burdens and hurt. and be healed.

I have not the slightest idea how God is going to work through those places in my heart (or yours) that need healing, but I know it will be good, and it is long overdue. 

Now, as I trade my ashes in for beauty, I pray that you do the same.


Happy healing.


Isaiah 61:1-3 

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed and qualified me to preach the Gospel of good tidings to the meek, the poor, and afflicted; He has sent me to bind up and heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the [physical and spiritual] captives and the opening of the prison and of the eyes to those who are bound,

To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord [the year of His favor] [a]and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,

To grant [consolation and joy] to those who mourn in Zion—to give them an ornament (a garland or diadem) of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment [expressive] of praise instead of a heavy, burdened, and failing spirit—that they may be called oaks of righteousness [lofty, strong, and magnificent, distinguished for uprightness, justice, and right standing with God], the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.


-B

Mark 13:23 (AMP) But look to yourselves and be on your guard, I have told you everything beforehand.

"Technology and communication are very popular in our culture. We communicate every day using cell phones, Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram and more. It has become addicting for many of us and it is difficult to try and go any length of time without using some type of communication. It is hard not to pick up our cell phone and send a friend a text, yet few of us take time during the day to speak to God at all." -- DNOW Awake14 Session 2

If we are being honest here, which I always try to be. That quote right there is a big red flashing true statement in some of our lives. 

I've done it. You've done it. We've all done it.

Wake up. Turn alarm off. Check Twitter/Email/Facebook/Instagram and send a "I don't want to wake up" snap chat to somebody. You can tell me its not true, and I will tell you that you are lying. 

I've been there, I've done it. Check out blog posts from the very beginning, I believe I even said that it was the first thing I did in the mornings. Roll over check my notifications. So don't think I am trying to call you out. Y'all, I've been there too. Been on both sides and I am just trying to let you know which side of the fence is greener.

I am sure you have heard it time and time again to have quiet time in the morning. Get into the word. Exchange some words with Jesus before anybody else. And you know what, I firmly believe that some of you do that. BUT not before you get in touch with the world.

By "the world" here I mean that high dollar piece of technology you have glued to your hand. emails, texts, and all the social medias that are at your finger tips. 

I can hear some of you now "well I follow Jesus Calling, or daily bible verse." But hear me out, that still isn't enough.

If you get into the WORD before you get into the WORLD you will be much more on guard for the day.

in Mark 13, Jesus is talking with His disciples about what is to come when He returns. He is telling them what will happen and what they need to be ready for and doing. So verse 23 he tells them to look to yourselves and be on guard [be ready] because He has told them everything beforehand.

That verse in scripture is so applicable to what I am talking about with getting into the word first. 

In Mark 13 Jesus himself is able to talk with the disciples and fill them in on what is to come and what they should do. We don't have that opportunity today to go sit at the feet of Jesus on the Mount of Olives but we have access to His speaking and teachings daily through the Bible. 

If we aren't getting into the Word 1st thing in the morning expecting to meet with Jesus and allowing Him to have undivided attention from us, how can we be on guard throughout the days crazies? The Bible tells us how to handle a multitude of things that occur daily. If we take the time to study and listen to God beforehand [before those things happen] we will be able to be on guard and know what to do when they come about. 

This is a challenge I give to everybody I come in contact with that is looking to revive their walk or just wanting to dig deeper. Get in touch with the Word before you get in touch with the World.

Why?

Promise, if you take time to get up just a little bit earlier and get in touch with The Word first, you will be able to have a heart and mind that processes the days events through God's teachings and mindset. 

selflessness. love. peace. patience. clear mind. steadfastness. righteousness. pure. faithfulness

If you dive head first into the world first thing in the morning, you will have to processes things through the worlds filter.

selfishness. hatred. impatience. frustration. maliciousness. deceit. heartlessness. faithlessness. 

So now is the time for you to choose what you want to do. Which filter you want to process things through. Promise you that the daily crazies will come they are inevitable. No matter what you do they will be part of your day. You just have to make the decision of how you would like to view them and handle them. 

If you are looking through the world's filter, chances are that little wind that ruffles your feathers will turn into a big ole storm quickly. 

Get in The Word first so you can be prepared beforehand, so you can be on guard when that wind comes. 



-B