Single, Christian, and the Tinder App

So, Tinder... I know people who have used it and people who have tried to convince me to do it. I have heard about it, and I have even heard of girls in the Church using it. So instead of forming a full opinion without trying it, yesterday at breakfast I downloaded the app and created a profile. 


For the record it took me less than 24 hours to form an opinion of the app, and I felt gross even having the app on my phone.

So here are my thoughts, ideas, and opinions on being single, Christian, and using the ever popular Tinder app.

To be clear, this is not an online dating review this is simply a Tinder review, and Tinder is not online dating. If you are offended, I am not sorry. I am using scripture to prove the errors. 

For those of you who don't know what Tinder is what an online Marie Claire article says

"It's an online dating app. When it first came on the scene, it was used more as a hook-up/casual sex app because it finds you potential matches based on their proximity to you. 

How does this Tinder app work then?

It's really very simple and easy. It finds your location using GPS, then uses your Facebook information to create your profile (don't worry, nothing about Tinder will ever be posted to Facebook). A Tinder profile is made up only of your first name, age, photos (of your choice) and any pages you've 'liked' on Facebook. 

Tinder then finds you potential matches near you (you can narrow it down by searching by age and distance) and if they take your fancy, you swipe right to 'like' them. If not, go left to 'pass'. If they’ve also 'liked' you – bingo. It’s a match and you can start messaging."

Read more at http://www.marieclaire.co.uk/blogs/543941/tinder-the-online-dating-app-that-everyone-s-talking-about.html#y5Wdg4cax7xrMbYQ.99

Basically, you get to look through people who have "liked" the same sort of stuff on Facebook, are within a certain age range you choose, and within a certain mileage from where you are currently.

and you are making that decision solely based on what the person looks like and what they type in their 500 character bio. 

HELLO judging a book by its cover!

The whole time I was using this all I could think of was what 1 Samuel 16:7 says

"The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

So for my Christian friends, here is error number 1 in the Tinder game. You are solely judging a person by outward appearance and what (usually really stupid stuff) they type in their bio. 

I feel like some people don't even look at the Bio, they just look at picture. For those of you who have never played the Tinder game, here is a screen shot of my profile/bio for you to see. I included some basic details, and the exact reason why I had a Tinder profile. Only about 2 guys picked up on that and message me hoping to give some positive to the Tinder negatives. 

As you scroll through these people Tinder has matched up for you after seeing their profile you swipe right for like, left for "nope"  If you swipe right and they swipe right you get a match. Here is what that looks like

You see you get 3 options.

1 - Send them a message (which can ONLY happen if you get a match, random people you do not say yes to cannot message you)
2 - Keep playing
3 - Tell your friends

error number 2 Tinder is just a game. Something to consume your time. You can argue, but it says right here "keep playing"

Ephesians 5:16 

Making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.

If you are looking for something to consumer your time, I can think of some better ways. 

BUT back to what I learned from reading bios leads me to error number 3.

There are not a whole lot of OPEN Jesus loving people using Tinder. I swiped left A LOT and right some, just to see what would happen, so I went through a lot of guys. I found THREE guys who at least liked one of the Pastors/Christian Speakers I had liked on Facebook or had a Bible verse in their Bio or anything Jesus/Ministry related. Most of the profiles I saw had no bio written, or their bio said something along the lines of inappropriate stuff I won't even repeat. 

here is some scripture to help you see where I might be headed with this next error I found.

2 Corinthians 6:14

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

1 Corinthians 15:33 

Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

Error number 3 in the Tinder game, you are diving into a pool of what I would perceived to be non believers. I could be totally wrong but asking for dirty pictures, hook ups, and saying good beer and mary jane is your best friend just doesn't scream "I love Jesus." 

Not only do I have those great bios to base my opinion, but this message from a guy a friend of mine was supposed to actually meet for coffee admitted it for us. (forgive the language here) 

not to mention he stood her up. So if you are single, Christian, and considering using the Tinder app. 

DO NOT DO IT. You can argue that it is what you make it, and that is true but go back and read all the errors again. If you still feel like trying to convince me, then go for it. There are some guys that are not terribly gross, and some that were polite, but anybody can be Prince Charming behind the computer (or iphone) screen. 

If you do, you might get a message like this I don't know about you, but this definitely doesn't make me swoon. 

and to my Franklin friends if you are wondering about the Tinder scene up here, rest easy this is where you are in the game

so thankful to say goodbye to that little flame icon. 

10 things to stop saying to singles, now.

This past Sunday my Pastor, Bruce Frank, started a new series on relationships called iVow.

(click image or linked here - http://www.biltmorebaptist.tv/media/ivow/ )

That, coming across Matt Chandlers "Beautiful Design" series and some interesting interactions lately have really had my mind working overtime. 

When it comes to relationships, that can be a touchy subject for those married and single. I know this because I myself am single, and I am surrounded by single and married friends. 

From the single perspective, both singles in the church and outside of the church are all having a similar struggle. Our married friends and family, both older and younger, just aren't quite sure what to say to singles. Majority of the things they have said are not beneficial. 

So for the sake of singles everywhere, I have talked to some single friends of mine and together we have gathered a list of things for you to please stop saying to singles.

1. Why are you still single?

don't ask us why. it is not a math problem, we can't explain it to you. we don't know why either, but guess what, now you have made us wonder why and what could be so wrong with us. 

2. I can't believe that you are still single!

this is not beneficial. you may mean it as a compliment but trust me, it is not. 

3. I feel sorry for girls like you, no good guys left. 

another "you may mean well but it didn't come out too nicely" phrase. singleness is not a sickness, and we do not need you to pity us. 

4. I have the perfect person for you.

every single married person out there has the "perfect person" for their single friends. somebody always wants to set us up. and 9 times out of 10 it becomes a "is that really what you think of me" situation when we meet your "perfect person." unless you can really pull through, please stop trying to set us up. 

5. If you don't stop doing (whatever the thing may be) you will never get married.

we all have our weird quirks. even if you are married you've got them. if we are not doing anything illegal or unbiblical, then please stop telling us that if we have one said quirk that will keep us from finding somebody. nobody's perfect. 

6. Just date Jesus

you don't date Jesus. dating ends, so you are indicating we should not have a consistent, real relationship with Christ. 


7. You don't need to take a break from dating, what if you miss an opportunity? 

"God’s plan is all-inclusive. It is based on God’s omniscience (knowing all), so that everything past, present, and future is taken into account." (bible.org) there is nothing wrong with us taking some time to get our own affairs in order and to spend some time seeking only after Jesus. during our singleness God can use us in ways we can't be used otherwise. don't encourage singles to be afraid of missing an opportunity. 

(read more about God's perfect plan here https://bible.org/seriespage/2-god-s-perfect-plan )


8. It'll happen when you least expect it. 

news flash, we are single surrounded by married people everywhere and a world that constantly tells us we are less if we are alone, we are always expecting it. you may be trying to encourage us, but this is not one of those things that will. cliches are not encouraging. 



9. You will find somebody some day, it's coming.  

and last but not least, 

10. There is somebody out there looking for you right now. 

these last two are different yet so similar they basically go together. we love your heart on this one, we hope that somebody is our there looking for us too but we don't know that for sure. this too goes back to what we talked about before with God's perfect timing. nobody knows the plans for our lives but The Lord. 




Singles don't want to be pitied. Singleness is not a sickness or a punishment. We don't want you to feel sorry for us, we want you to love and encourage us. Encouraging us to use our time wisely, and to let The Lord use our time however He wants to. To stop looking on pinterest and making wedding plans, but use our time and efforts to make disciples. To take risks, try new things, and stop waiting to live our lives until find "the one." 

In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul tells us if we are unmarried he wants us to be free from anxieties because we are only to be anxious about the things of the Lord and how to please Him. 

So, if you find yourself talking with an unmarried friend (bitter or not so bitter, because there are definitely two sides of singleness) stay far away from the list above and encourage them with that nugget of truth, and the truth that Romans 8:28 tells us that God works all things together for our good, no matter what.