Wednesday, November 12, 2014

oh the joy of vulnerability

oh the joy of vulnerability

as hard as it may be to convey a tone in writing, I am hoping that you can pick up on my sarcastic tone in that statement.

Joy - a feeling of great pleasure and happiness

Vulnerability (or vulnerable) - susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm


A feeling of great pleasure and happiness of being susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm.


 Now are you picking up my sarcasm? Those two just don't go together. At least not in a great pleasurable and happy way.

Have you ever opened up about something, poured our your heart, feelings, thoughts, and emotions only to be met with indifference. Or the cold, hard sting of the words, actions, or feelings you hoped for to never come your way.

To come to that place where you are susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm? That place where you want to shut off, close down, and never even dream of tip-toeing around that word, vulnerability? 

You have? Me too. 


Lately I have learned there is however a lot of learning, growing, and character development in vulnerability. 


As a quiet, calm (I laugh even typing those two words to describe myself) woman with a strong spirit, vulnerability might as well be a four letter word that catches you off guard when you hear it from somebody else, or a pile of dirty laundry you know exists but avoid it at all costs

I don't think it's harder for women than men to be vulnerable, I believe it is an across the board issue.

However, doing some thinking, reading, praying, and researching and actually putting myself in those situations where I've had to be.... vulnerable  has really made me think about how things would be different in my relationships, my ministry, or my discipleship groups if I was more vulnerable.


There is something about being vulnerable that makes you flip. Once you open that bag of vulnerability the fear of man instantaneously flies in. Happened to me, just last night. I won't go into detail about what, why, or who with, but I will say that I had to come to a point where I had to calm it down and try to see the positive side of my vulnerability. Which in turn is why I am writing this post. 


Reading around, I found this quote about that which we avoid, vulnerability from a man named Patrick Lencioni, A man I have never heard of or know anything about. Yet a man who has a good way of seeing how vulnerability is a good thing which is what I am looking for. 


"Vulnerability. It is one of the most undervalued and misunderstood of all human qualities. Without the willingness to be vulnerable, we will not build deep  and lasting relationships in life. That's because there is no better way to earn a person's trust than by putting ourselves in a position  of unprotected weakness." 


I can't help but read that and think of vulnerability and think of Jesus. A man who didn't pretend, wasn't prideful, boastful, but was real. He was an easy to connect with, easy to follow, easy to love, easy to want to be like kind of man. A man who gave us the greatest most amazing things he could, all by being vulnerable. 

That alone takes the sting out of vulnerability. 

How deep and real were Jesus' relationships, ministry, and discipleship? 


I don't know about you, but if having relationships, ministry, and discipleship like Jesus means being a little more vulnerable, i'm in. 

I don't know what that vulnerability looks like in your life. You're probably thinking now you don't know what happened to me the last time I was vulnerable. How stupid it made me feel, how others looked at me... you don't know.  Friend you are correct but I can be vulnerable with you and tell you I've been there. I've kept feelings in and when I opened up about them it was a little too late. I've had to swallow my pride and admit I was wrong. I've had to sit down with a friend who is hurting and broken by something I am all too familiar with and open an old wound so I could meet her where she is all by saying, "you'e not alone, me too..." 

So I don't know what being vulnerable will look like or has looked like in the past for you, but if I can encourage you to give it another try and to help take the sting out of it for you, then that is a start. 

I am by all means not saying please air your dirtiest, darkest secrets on social media, or at any other inappropriate times or ways. I am saying that it is okay to be attentive to a moment you need to open up about feelings, or swallow your pride and admit something, and be brave and follow through. 


I am saying that it is okay to come to a place where you can say "oh the joy of vulnerability" and mean it; and knowing if having relationships, ministry, and discipleship like Jesus means being a little more vulnerable, you too can say "i'm in." 


"God asks us to be this vulnerable all the time – with Him and with others – if we want true joy."
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