As the end of my first year of teaching comes to an end, I felt it necessary to share what I have learned. When I was about to start teaching, I searched for advice. Anything I could read, anybody I could talk to, and there were a lot of things I learned that nobody taught me, but the kiddos.
So here is a letter to the first year teacher, from a first year survivor.
First: take a deep breath
you may not get a lot of time to take a lot of those. Kidding. Even though it does not feel like you have time to even breath at times, you do. When you start to feel like that, stop right then and take a deep breath.
You will take a lot of deep breaths. Side note, do so loudly so you will be able to tune out the kids asking if you are okay, or why you are breathing so hard.
Second: be yourself
you have nobody to impress, your a newbie and everybody knows it. If they don't know it yet, they will figure it out fast. That is not a bad thing at all. I used the "I'm a newbie" card a lot. It gives you a little bit more wiggle room to try new things and make mistakes. Definitely takes the pressure off. So be yourself and try those things until somebody tells you it's not a good idea and adjust things as you go. If you don't there will be so much pressure to live up to this unreal person you have created. It is okay to make mistakes around co-workers and the kids. If you teach the kids it's okay to make mistakes they will start to try more too.
Third: become familiar with what you cannot do
knowing exactly what you cannot do gives you wiggle room. Plus, it is much easier to know what you cannot do instead of what you can do. Learn those things asap.
Fourth: learn when to ask permission and when to wait and ask forgiveness later
that is very important. If you feel like you have to ask before you do any and every little thing, you will go insane. You will also drive others insane if you are constantly asking "can I...(fill in the blank)?" As long is it is not one of those things that is on the cannot do no matter what list it may fall under one of those categories.
Fifth: set boundaries
if you do not set boundaries during your first few months, you will definitely not have them throughout the 2nd half of the year when you begin to question why you even became a teacher. Again, kidding. If you ask that question, you won't truly mean it but that honeymoon period will be over quick and all your kids are now being themselves. Fully. All day. Every day. Learn what time is a good idea to leave school each day, and how late of an exception you will make for those busier days. Do NOT check email outside of school except for special circumstances. You will set up the unreal expectation that you can and will respond to a parent at 9:00 pm if necessary. Decide what type of work you will bring home and what you will not. I did not bring any work home and everything that needed to be done got done. There is no rule anywhere that says you must work at home or on the weekends. Don't do it. Teaching is your job not who you are. Do not lose your identity to your work. Pick 3 things and do them WELL. Do not overwhelm yourself. You are a new teacher, you are not hot of the press teacher of the year. You cannot do it all. If you try to manage teaching and be everywhere all the time, you will never get anything else done. Added bonus, boundaries or not, you will never have time to pee, so start learning to hold it now.
Sixth: remember that every day is a new day
yesterday is not today and today is not tomorrow. Remember that. Do not carry anything from yesterday into your today. If you do that, those kids will never stand a chance. Even if that same kid drives you nuts every day in the same ways, let him have a new chance every day. PS: throw out that "I will love all my kids the same. I will not have favorites" idea because you will not not have favorites or enjoy all the kids equally. People are different, and there are different personalities. You will not like them all but you can give them a new chance every day.
Seventh: take time to learn all of your students
whether you have 25 or 125, take time to learn them all. It will pay off in the long run. They will know you care and you will learn how to discipline, teach, and reward each of them. And trust me, without that you have nothing. If you don't learn the kids you cannot build relationships with them. The most important thing is to build relationships with the kids not how much they learn.
Eighth: know now that you will not have 185 instructional days and THAT'S OK
Some days you will learn absolutely nothing and you will watch the Magic School bus and play silent ball. Some days you will color, go outside dig in the dirt, and cut and paste. Do not take those opportunities for granted. Those are some of the best teacher days. Yes you have data to meet, and EOG scores to raise, but if you don't take those days off and enjoy those slow days your kids won't learn from you. They will check out quick fast and in a hurry. Take time to let the kids have fun. They can learn in fun ways. Do not beat yourself up for the days you get nothing academic accomplished.
Ninth: kids love rewards and "I like" has more power than "I don't like"
Rewards are better than discipline. Telling kids you like something they have done is way better than fussing at a kid because you don't like what they are doing. Whatever grade you teach, they deep down secretly want to please you. "I really like" will take you MUCH further than "I really don't like" plus it will make you a more positive person. Reward what you like, ignore what you don't, they will catch on pretty quick.
Tenth: set your standards HIGH and BE TOUGH
I don't care if you are the most laid back person ever, when you have 25 different sweet little children in your room, if you don't set some standards quick you will have chaos. It is OK to tell kids NO, you may not get up without permission in this room and NO you may not go to the bathroom. It is easier to say NO first and then later say yes. If you start saying yes a lot at first you will be walked all over. If you are not tough with the kids at first you will be walked all over. You might as well slap a welcome sign to you because congratulations, you are a door mat. You can love the kids and have fun but still be tough. There is a difference between being strict and being mean. Your classroom may be the only structure they see in their life. You may be the only one that sets rules and standards for them. They may not like you for it but later in life they will understand. You are helping develop their character. Remember that, they don't need a friend they need a mentor.
I feel it is safe to stop at 10.
What I would have changed about my first year is being spread too thin. Some days I was to tired and the kids caught it. Be prepared for the kids to ask if you are tired, or if you are in a bad mood. They will ask and it is frustrating. Law is it frustrating, but just take it as a compliment that they are comfortable enough to ask. You can reteach anything but you cannot recreate an environment.
If you take nothing from my letter remember this ONE key thing. Take time to pray over your room and for your kiddos. Take time to pray before you discipline. What makes a good teacher is not how well she teaches, but her walk with The Lord. Pray pray pray. Seek The Lord's guidance in all you do. I could not have made it through this first year without Him.
With 14 days left until summer vacation, I cannot help but to reflect. I have loved my first year and I have loved my kiddos. I have loved the days that crashed and burned. I have loved the days we painted, colored, played with food, and watched the Magic School Bus or Bill Nye. I have loved being deemed the "bully teacher" and earning that title (ps, be okay with the kids joking with you. let them know when it is appropriate and when it isn't, and no two kids will joke the same that's why you have to learn them all) because I had fun and the kids had fun. I have loved the crazy pictures the kids draw of me on the board, and the forced teacher appreciation letters. I have loved the cute awards, letters, and pictures the kids created for me. I have loved being called a witch and a dragon, having my hair, shoes, and outfits critiqued by preteens because that means they are comfortable enough to share their opinions, and at times way too comfortable.
What I am trying to say is enjoy it. Soak in every moment. Let nothing steal your joy. Who you are on day one is not who you will be on day 185, I promise. Start praying, taking deep breaths, and learning how to hold your pee now. You will not regret it.
You will have a great year, you will be great, and it is okay to make mistakes.
Sincerely,
a first year survivor teacher of tweens.
